I Love You Too, Soubi
by Grendolen
Summary: It doesn't have much of a point, just some of Ritsuka's thoughts on Soubi and Soubi's on Ritsuka. Just read and find out.


**Disclaimer – I do not own Loveless.**

So this is my first Loveless fic. And in the end it may turn out completely terrible. Because this is just a one shot kind of thing, so just read and review please.

I Love You Too, Soubi 

The ceiling of his apartment was plain and boring, it was nothing exciting to look at while you were desiring to see another's face instead of that boring color up there. It was the middle of the day, the one he wanted to see was away at school, although he would soon get up and become ready to meet him at the gates as he always did once the school had let out. Normally he could lay around or something there in his bed, but the bed was taken up by two slightly snoring figures all cuddled against each other. Yoji and Natsuo, the two Zero boys that had to stay with him since they had no other place to go. Seimei had told him to let them stay, so he had allowed them to.

So much he wanted that to be him and Ritsuka all curled up there together asleep, it sounded so innocent and he wasn't a very innocent man. The thought of doing that though, it made him smile softly to himself. As he sat there on the floor with his back against the wall he grabbed his cell phone and looked at it, he wanted to send Ritsuka an email but incase the boy had it on, it would go off in the middle of his class. And that might risk him getting the device confiscated and it would never be returned unless that he parents came to get it for him. That was something else he didn't want to have to risk for him as well, Ritsuka dealing with his parents more than he already had to, especially his mother for that matter.

"Mm…" A slight noise came from one of the boys up above in the bed as he noticed one lump under the sheets become closer to another. It was an adorable sight to see them there like that. It only made him further jealous of the two.

He sighed and stood up slowly as he went towards his bathroom and grabbed a little hair tie, pulling back his blond locks and tying them up into a pony tail. A few strands hung around his face and framed it as he adjusted his glasses and exited the room and went towards his closet. What would he wear to visit his sweet Ritsuka after he got out of school? He wasn't for sure of what _to _wear, even though the boy probably never even took notice in the man's clothes. It's not that he was trying to impress him, he just wanted to look good.

When he found some nice black jeans he slipped them on over his legs and zipped them up, standing there without a shirt as he searched for one hanging up between all of the others. Taking out a dark gray shirt and slipping it on over his upper body, it fit to him perfectly in a tight way and he looked in the mirror. Good enough for him, he shrugged and went to put on his shoes and then pull a jacket over him since it was slightly cold out from a previous rain. And even then it was a little cloudy with another chance of showers or thunderstorms.

As he put his phone in one pocket and keys and cigarettes in another he exited the bedroom, leaving the two boys still sleeping soundly together. And in a matter of moments he was leaving the apartment, locking the door and heading down the street towards Ritsuka's school. Kio had always told him that he was a perverted stalker, if he was a perverted stalker, then Kio was an obsessed one. Because he always found himself with Kio when he wasn't with Ritsuka, and even then he was sometimes there. Sure, Kio was his best friend but the guy had apparently always wanted it to be more than that. He didn't want that though all he needed was Ritsuka to keep him stable.

It was about thirty minutes before school would let out, so he leaned against the brick wall and pulled out his cigarettes and lighter, pushing one of the slim cigarettes between his soft lips and lighting it up. As he took a long drag and shoved his lighter away he began to think about Ritsuka, and his brother Seimei.

Seimei had always told him that if something was to happen, that he as to take care of Ritsuka and to love him. However, he had always loved Seimei so much and it had hurt him when he was murdered, but once he met Ritsuka…he never knew that it might be possible that he loved him more than he ever loved Seimei. That seemed like so much love and every time he would say the three little words of 'I love you', Ritsuka would always ignore him. Or he'd be upset or angry, sometimes it didn't bother him though. Ritsuka was only a child that had been through a lot, he didn't know of much love yet. And he had planned to show and tell him about it one day whenever the boy would finally submit to him. Until then he was there to fight for him, he was merely, just a sacrifice.

_"You are my law Ritsuka, you are my reason for living."_

Seimei had commanded it that he love Ritsuka, and he had only followed that command very well, to please Seimei despite that he was dead.

_"Did you come here because Seimei told you to?" He demanded with a look of frustration across his face as he asked this question._

_"Yes…"_

_"You…said you loved me! Over and over! Why? Because Seimei told you to? Soubi!" The boy seemed angered in his voice, but yet, it had made him feel like he was close to Seimei, since they were related._

_"Yes."_

_"Did Seimei tell you to…love me?"_

_"He did." _

_"So you listen to whatever Seimei says…you can't do that." Now his voice sounded tired and exhausted from asking all of the arguing questions._

_"I can. Seimei's words are absolute. And now I listen to Ritsuka's commands. That's what he told me to do."_

_"You can't love…just because you were ordered to. That's not right!" The boy clenched his fists now in repeated anger as he stared down at the floor._

_"I love you."_

_"Stop it! I don't want to hear it!"_

Suddenly the bell signaling that school was over rang out into the silence and he was finishing his cigarette, putting it out against the brick wall and letting it fall to the ground with no more sparks in it left. As he waited a few more moments, he saw the three friends walking out of the double front doors together. Yuiko, Yayoi, and the one he had been waiting for, Ritsuka.

"Oh look Ritsuka! Soubi is here!" Yuiko chimed in with a happy tone in her voice and gave a little bounce of excitement. The boy didn't know what she was so happy about, Soubi was merely a man, not a large bar of chocolate. However the boy did have a little smile across his face once he saw him, but it didn't last long. Today was Wednesday and he had to get to the hospital and he didn't really want Soubi to follow him there either.

"Soubi…" Ritsuka looked up to him and his two friends tagged along beside of him, Yuiko staring at the young boy dreamily and Yayoi rolling his eyes. Even Ritsuka wanted Yuiko and Yayoi to get together so that he could get the girl off of his back. Sure they were friends, but he didn't like her in _that_ way. She was just a tad too stupid or more of an idiot, for someone like him. Despite his age, he was a very serious person.

"Ritsuka, I missed you." The blond man answered as he looked towards the two friends and gave a little smile before looking back to Ritsuka, he just couldn't keep his eyes off of him.

"I have to go somewhere today, I don't have time to stand around." That was his answers to the 'I missed you' comment. He knew that Soubi would catch on, he often walked him to the bus to wherever the boy was going. Although he never really asked where, it was none of his business since he had tried to squeeze the information out of him. As long as it was nothing bad that would put Ritsuka in danger, he didn't really mind it that much that he couldn't know anything. It only seemed fair, since he was keeping secrets from the younger as well.

Yuiko and Yayoi seemed to know this routine as well, every Wednesday Ritsuka would say something like this and he and Soubi would walk off in the direction of the bus stop. This had always made them clueless because they always thought that he and Soubi were going somewhere together, since they never saw Soubi get on the bus with him because they had already been on their ways back to their homes. So they all said their good byes, besides Ritsuka and Soubi and once the two friends were turned around and walking together, the man and boy turned as well.

In silence they walked to the bus stop and stood there next to the sign and the bench. It seemed that the bus was taking terribly long, until Ritsuka heard it's noises not so far off down the street.

"The bus is nearly here." He mumbled while taking a step forward away from Soubi, and then man only stepped up next to him.

"Do I not get a goodbye kiss?" The man questioned as he gazed down towards the cat eared boy who seemed to have a slight pink tint to his cheeks. She smiled, poor Ritsuka, he was blushing.

Ritsuka didn't answer because the bus was there and the door opened, he stepped up and started to walk towards the middle of all the seats, gazing out the windows to see Soubi still outside with a small smile. Then he sat down and Soubi's smile seemed to turn into a smirk as the bus slowly pulled away from the sidewalk and the boy turned around in his seat. _No Soubi, you don't get a goodbye kiss._

"So, Ritsuka, tell me about your friends for a minute." The woman with the short brownish hair asked with a sweet smile on her lips. One of those smiles where your eyes shut tight with fake joy almost, that's what it seemed like to Ritsuka, fake joy.

"Yuiko and Yayoi…they aren't really my friends." He mumbled as a response and curled himself up on the little couch and looked over to where she was at her computer desk, writing away at something. Probably his progress or something professional like that, something that didn't really have any meaning to him except it was a bunch of little words about an opinion of him.

"You hang out with them." She stated while adverting her eyes up at the black haired Ritsuka and put on another smile, she was always smiling.

"Sure…but I don't really do anything friend like with them." He shrugged and looked over at the books lining the wooden shelves, pointless books that told you how to analyze every little detail of the human mind and how to read into everything that someone says to you.

"Maybe you should…do you tell them anything?"

"Like what?"

The woman stood up now from her rolling chair and went over to the couch to sit down next to him, patting the boy's arm lightly as if that was something important to do.

"Like…anything. Your house, your life, anything?" She wondered with no smile so he could finally see her big bright eyes that stared down at him, as she looked anxious for his answer.

"I don't tell them anything." Ritsuka snapped and turned his head away, there was no point. This Ritsuka could disappear at any moment, why explain things that he may not be able to remember about?

"What about that friend you talk about, a friend of your brother's?"

Now Ritsuka froze for a moment and started down at an ugly plant that sat in a corner of a room next to one of the bookshelves. It appeared that the plant was fighting for its life because no sunlight was reaching it. That's what was wrong with him he felt like, something right wasn't reaching him to make him feel like he was full of life.

Seimei, that's what he was missing.

"He…he, I don't know…" He wrinkled his nose and his cat ear twitched slightly as he wrapped his tail around himself for protection against any questions about Soubi. The woman shrugged and decided to drop the subjects now as she went back to her desk and began to scribble down something. Probably about him being unresponsive of certain topics or something. _Fine_, he thought, _let her think whatever she wants to about me and my friends, Soubi isn't my friend he's my…_

Ritsuka didn't know what Soubi was to him, he wasn't Seimei he knew that, thinking this as he buried his face into his arms and he suddenly heard the woman's voice perk up in the silence once more.

"Alright, Ritsuka, you can go now. I'll see you next week."

Night came as it always did and he sat alone in his bedroom while staring at his computer screen at the same note that Seimei had left him on there. It hurt him each time to read it…why was he reading it now? It only made him feel worse about his whole situation.

_Yo!_

_I figured that if I died,_

_You'd eventually find this._

_If you are reading this, it means I was murdered._

_(I have to believe that you'll find this.)_

_Ritsuka:_

_I have left you my Fighter Unit._

After he read that, as if on time he phone suddenly rang with the sound of a new email. He opened it up and looked at it, of course it was Soubi. How odd that it had happened that way…

_To: Ritsuka_

_From: Soubi_

_I love you, Ritsuka._

The boy clenched his teeth as he stared at the message and then looked away, he shut the phone without answering the message and went to turn off his computer. As he did so, his eyes glanced up to all the pictures of he and Soubi together on his little bulletin board over head. He sighed, taking the cell phone in his hands and going to lay out on his bed with his face buried in the pillows. What an odd man that Soubi was.

Suddenly the phone rang once more and he was suspicious as he slowly opened it and read the next email that had been sent.

_To: Ritsuka_

_From: Soubi_

_Open the balcony door._

_What?_ He thought as he blinked and sat himself up on the bed, reading over the message once more and then stepping up to slide open the glass door to his balcony and there stood Soubi with a smile on his face and the phone in his hand. He looked no different from earlier except that his long blond hair was falling down past his shoulders and he looked a little happier for some reason. But that's how Soubi was sometimes.

Ritsuka didn't even bother to ask what he wanted, he just let the man in and shut the door afterwards as he went to turn the monitor of his computer off and sit back down in the rolling chair. Soubi took his seat on the floor where he always sat and leaned his back against the boy's comfortable bed. Him being here seemed to have no point at all. It was night, nearly time for sleep and he was just sitting there with a happy smile across his face and in his eyes.

"What?" Ritsuka finally asked and Soubi's smile softened.

"Nothing, I just came to visit you since we didn't get to earlier." Soubi answered and merely shrugged as if it was no big deal, pulling a cigarette out and lighting it up. Ritsuka blinked and looked down at his bare feet, mouthing a silent 'oh' and twitching his soft cat ears.

Then they just sat there and the minutes ticked away boringly, there was nothing to do and nothing to say. Ritsuka looked up at the man, the more he looked, the more they talked, the more time they spent together he began to realize that…he liked Soubi. Every time a person asked him about Soubi or just mentioned his name he found himself blushing furiously or trying to avoid him as the subject and switch to talking about something or someone else. Why was that? He had no idea.

"_What about that friend you talk about, a friend of your brother's?"_

"He…he, I don't know…" 

_Soubi isn't my friend he's my…_

"Soubi, what am I to you?" He asked suddenly out loud and then kicked the ground softly, he hadn't really meant to ask that question to him. He had meant to say it in his mind.

"You're my sacrifice." He answered simply as he pulled the delicate cigarette from his perfectly formed mouth. Soubi had answered that so calmly and said nothing other about it as if it wasn't any big deal to him or wondering why Ritsuka had asked such a question to him.

"What are you to me?"

Soubi then became silent as he stared up into the boy's big questioning eyes and he started to wonder now. What was a good answer to this question? At first he would have said 'I am your fighter', but he wanted it as more, didn't he? What was he to say to this boy?

"I don't know, Ritsuka, you tell me that." The man blinked at him as he finished his cigarette and stood up slowly and quietly, going towards the glass door and sliding it open as he tossed the object out into the night air, and turned to go back to Ritsuka.

"I…I don't know…you're my fighter, I suppose…" He mumbled with a little sound of regret as he turned slightly in the chair and stared at the blank computer screen as he listened to Soubi sit back down in his spot. He was at a loss of words on how to answer anymore of these odd questions and then let out a deep sigh. Why couldn't he have come up with something better than that?

Soubi didn't say anything more, he just nodded with his own little feeling built up deep inside of him. He wasn't sure exactly was emotion it was. Not hurt, or love, or sadness, it wasn't anything. It was an empty feeling, a feeling he had since Seimei left. And Ritsuka had that same feeling.

Here were two people both missing two of the same things in their lives. Seimei, the one they loved, and love itself.

_"Hey…what did you call me?"_

_"Your real name, Ritsuka…is loveless…"_

_"A horrible name…what the hell is that? Who decided that?"_

_"I wonder who does? I'd like to know too. But it was decided before we were born."_

Ritsuka blinked as he thought back to that night in his mind. His real name was Loveless, and it fit him just perfectly. He had no love, and he didn't know how to love…did he?

Maybe he did know how to love. He had loved Seimei, so why was it so hard not to love Soubi, or his friends? Why was it so hard? It seemed like a hopeless task to like someone, barely even _love_ them. It just didn't feel possible in his heart to say those three little words…I love you.

And somehow, he always managed to hear them from Soubi.

Suddenly the boy came out with a long yawn that even he hadn't expected himself to do. Soubi stood and went over to him, picking him up by his arm and looking down at him with a smile. Ritsuka's heart was beating rapidly as he was pulled so closely, taking in the scent that Soubi held, it was intoxicating, so much that he slowly shut his eyes and Soubi took advantage of that moment. The man leaned down and parted his lips, pressing them softly to the boy's and giving him a heart filled kiss. Moments later however he pulled away, brushing strands of black hair away from Ritsuka's face with a big smile.

"You need to sleep, you're tired." Soubi said and tilted his head towards the comfortable looking bed that was Ritsuka's. The boy nearly began to protest as Soubi pulled away from him and went towards the balcony silently, one hand in his pocket as he put the other on the door and opened it slowly. He turned his head with a sweet and caring smile.

"I love you, Ritsuka."

The boy stared as he went towards his bed, he was already in his pajamas anyway. He looked up at the other's soft eyes and he brought himself to say the words he hadn't said since long before Seimei had died. The words he didn't seem to possess, and a feeling that he hadn't felt in such a long time that he thought it had disappeared from his body forever. But no, that feeling never left anyone no matter how long it was to be locked up inside of them.

"I love you too, Soubi."

Alright well, it was random. Just plain whatever-ness. xD


End file.
